what do i write about my lil one
cause he is yet to come
he is enjoying in his first home
my womb is filled with joy

waiting for months to complete
waiting for my little one
waiting for his smile to make the world laugh
waiting for his cry to take me over

waiting for the first laugh
waiting for him to hold my hand
i am waiting for all the feelings
that would relate him to me..

hoping that he comes out healthy
and the god blesses him with lots of love
i am still waiting for him to fall into my lap
still waiting & waiting...

desiccated life

Desiccated life

I have heard stories from the past

That love was easier

Time was plenty

And that money was not vulnerable

‘Ignorance’ in today’s time

Makes hatred, confusion,

And many creative engines,

That pushes us to the grave fast

Love can be nothing but adjustments

Time stays in antiques

And everybody has more pennies,

To offer than to save

Regardless of the worthy processions

What regards do we have for our ancestors?

Who once lived the life of kings & queens

With whatever, they called ‘theirs’

Transitions , time to time

Nothing is making us happier

Sadness has become easier

Don’t know why we live for

Taking everything to its stride

The story ends with a map

Which leads to nowhere

But time, money, love & its theories…

its so easy to remain young.. but it is very hard & painful to get old.. u practically have nothing to do, when u gt to that age.. u r bound to ur chair and u r limited with just smiles.. what u can give is just wishes and nothing more than that .. i feel the same way, with nothing to offer and nothing to get other than just smiles... i feel terribily old today
time is flying by.. with nothing much to do in life.. feels like finished and i feel that my duties are over.. now its time for me to go... go away from everything.. the unique 'you' has been dead for very long.. nothing matters to me anymore.. restricted from each & everything.. i lost myself from every feelings that i had.. relations.. left behind, no one cares about each other.. everyone striving for life, while i strive for death .. yrs in maintaining relations, maintaining words, my feelings, my things.. now.. nothing matters, for whatever may happen to anything... no tears to wipe.. and one day the remaining smiles will be mine alone... i am preparing for anything now.. anything that can make me thank the almighty, for taking my soul too with him.. i hope i live up to his dreams that he might have seen for me..

today i decided to petrify myself.. but i did not have any portions for it.. may be i am already petrified.. its been always hard inside.. a feeling of burden, a feeling of decolonize.. i know loneliness have swept in long before.. but still i am trying to be myself in my self made cocoon.. i need nobody to rock me, nobody to smile at me.. cause everything is just manky. there wasnt a day when i felt 'ok.. something good would happen to me..'.. cause i know nothing is so gr8 to talk about.. everyone has those perfect lifestyle.. creating one for themselves.. but smile all the way around , showing that criticisms wouldnt hurt them at all cause they have the power.. and then smile.. saying .. "what rubbish".." u dont know anything".. yes.. i know i dont know anything.. just one thing, and that is to stay inside my cocoon
anyone could become sanctimonious, but only in their own terms and only in their cocoon.. and once they try to impose their impurity in u, ur outburst would be taken as outcast.. and then u get back to ur nest..

i dont know , y am writing words, which i can say is not imbued with for anyone outside my nest.. hope everything is misspelt, as it always has been.. and that nobody conform anything, sitting in their cocoon...

misspelt

Words have started deceiving me

Since I started writing

It spells wrong

It takes me to another meaning

 

Dictions are of no use

They are in wrong order

They do not show me the correct sense

The correct border

 

Grammar was always right

Now it has started misleading me

I cannot read anything

Even the book known to me

 

Binding was once my hobby

Wrote, then bonded just for me

Now everything lies in here and there

Without anything printed on it

What is there in life

What is there in life…

It has become stationary…

U use it to use it..

Then left over are thrown away..

What is there in life

That we see nothing

Gathering all truth

& putting it in the garbage

What is there in life

That tells us

U r “wrong”

Each and every time u try to speak

What is there n life

that u cannot sleep

Dead against sleep

U owe it to everyone

What is there in life

When u r not yourself

And u loose ur identity

Death too shy’s away from u

What is there in life

Nothing but a blank page

For anyone to scribble

For anyone to tear it off..

What is there in life…

Life gone away

Gone away

Away…………

Freaky mind

Life in constant war with death

by no means I was involved.

it was war of a century

but I never knew where it was,

in or out.

Followed everyone's path

with fierceness

with a fife near my lips

looked here & there

with utmost fervour.

Deep inside me

was a gazebo

but i found nothing to gaze

just the material earth & the kinetic sky

with the war behind.

Became a kleptomaniac

from everybody's looks

became lame & tensed

when i tried to keep one foot at a step

peeking behind for the warriors to take me,

from me within.

closed my eyes & prayed till nothing happened

it was all a freaky mind

with nothing ever happened

and nothing to discover in it.